'It's the knocks that toughen you up' now there's a cliche! Who wants to hear that when they are being beaten to a pulp? When you're on your knees? But actually it's true, when the punches stop, and the bruises have healed, you realise you've survived......you feel stronger.
This is all metaphorically speaking of course, I would never, ever advocate to anyone, ANYONE, to allow themselves to be actually physically punched and abused. But 'life' sometimes punches us, knocks us about.
Saying that, I have got have got some frustrations with this philosophy......I've never actually SAID I wanted to be stronger! I've never announced to the universe, I'm weak, I could do with a few hard knocks, I could do with toughening up a little! No, never, I was quite happy with who I was, thanks all the same. But The fact is, I have been been given a fair few knocks, more than some, a lot less than others. And yes, I'm definately a stronger person for it.....I don't always feel strong, but I am.
So when my little 'treat' was cancelled this morning, I remained calm...took it all in my stride. This is the third time it's been cancelled. Before I've felt overwhelmingly disappointed, surprised by my 'over' reaction, and the dark place it took me. It caught me unawares and unsettled me.
I had thought I had got used to 'disappointments'. How can this woman, who's life's been completely changed, who's 'life plan' had been thrown out of the window, who's had to completely rewrite everything, fall so badly at the thought she wasn't going to get away for a few days? It seemed silly and childlike.
I've learnt a fair few lessons over the last few weeks. I've learnt you can't pin your happiness on things, or events, or holidays, or little treats. We only have what we had right now, at this very moment. If we aren't happy in this very moment, then we won't be happy by any manner of things. Well actually yarn and fabric do make me happy.....but that's a different story ;)
Now don't get me wrong, there are moments that of course that make us sad, and they SHOULD make us sad, seeing those we love suffer, well that of course makes us sad. The point I'm trying to make is, in order to be truly happy, we need to be happy with what we have right now. Yes have dreams, have aspirations, but don't rely on THEM to make you happy. Be happy with what you have, if it needs tweaking, then tweak it.....make those changes you need to make of course, but be happy in the very moment you're in.......
Right now, I'm happy.......writing this, reading my book.....making lentil soup, (although it needs tweaking with extra seasoning for me to be truly happy with it!). But I'm also wise enough to know this state of mind needs to be nurtured, if you take your eye off the ball it can slip away again. So nurture it I will, as I nurture myself and those around me that I love.
So Lovelies, what's making you happy today......and what tweaks do you feel you feel you need to make?
Amanda :) xxx
Love the colour.....now where's that pepper......