Sorry for my absence this week, I've only just got around to answering your comments on my last post. It's been a difficult week, lots of past emotions have risen there heads again, and quite frankly, surprised me by how they have taken me over. Sometimes you think you've dealt with stuff don't you, only to realise you've just buried them, and not too deeply at that.
I've a plan of action, and I know what I need to do, but I also know it's going to be a rocky few months ahead. I've decided to take on The Giant. It's essential if I want to get back some of the self worth I've lost.
A few years ago, a big, powerful organisation made me feel worthless, it's time they knew how they made me feel. Maybe then I can regain some self respect, in this area of my life anyway. It could become a legal matter, so I can't say too much here.
So this week, there's been lots of tears, feelings of rejection, worthlessness. Feelings of injustice, and boy, are they strong! Knowing, that if I had been treated fairly a few years ago, then my life, and that of my family, would have been so much better.
I've felt exhausted by it all, yesterday I spent the day resting. Today will be more rest, and crochet. I've taken the first step, got the ball rolling, so to speak. I really need to pace myself on this one, fighting Giants can be hard work...wish me luck and strength. (Oh and the will to edit holiday photos!).
Amanda :) xxx
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Morning Amanda,
ReplyDeleteTake it slowly and think clearly, I am sure you can sort things out but do watch your health.
I had to dash to Kent 2 weeks ago and after a week bring Fran back for a week. She has been bottling things instead of facing them for a long time and the dam burst. She has talked to a counselor and is taking one step at a time. It will be a medium to long term effort but will be worth it in the end. Many of us will be there sending you virtual support and lots of hugs and good vibes. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteWishing you every strength as you face up to this challenge. you have a giant heart, so do not fear xxx
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your crocheting time and rest, sending good wishes your way xxx
ReplyDeleteYou're a very strong lady Amanda, hope you get lots of rest and feel up to some giant bashing tomorrow. X
ReplyDeleteI totally understand what you mean about dealing with stuff and past emotions - and then there's the new stuff and new emotions to deal with aswell!! The feeling of injustice is indeed a strong one especially when that injustice affects your future. I wish you well in your 'plan of action' and hope it achieves the desired result - you have many friends and supporters here x
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best - sounds like the giants need their comeuppance - good luck. x
ReplyDeletedo hope you are able to slay the giant and return yourself to...yourself. in the meantime...loving those afghan photos. makes me want to dig out my hook and put aside my needles. :)
ReplyDeletegood luck.You have taken the first steps.Well done you.Just keep going.Barbarax
ReplyDeleteWe will be with you every step of the way, even if you can't see us. My friend has taken on Giants (and won). We used to have tea, cake and giggles periodically to see her thru the next step.
ReplyDeleteI live with my Giant, and am not ready for that battle yet. Just got to get youngest thru uni.
xx
I'm here (well, a little bit far away, I know!) and I'm with you!!!!
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best and the strength you need, xxxxxxxxxx Ale
Fighting giants is hard work, but it sounds as though even if you don't win the war, taking on the fight will help you to move onwards in your life and so I hope that it does that - and that you win the war too of course! Your bloggy pals are here to support and cheer as much as we can, so call on us if you need us. Hugs and all good thoughts! xx
ReplyDeleteAmanda, you have my very best wishes for the fight, it sounds as if they need to be made to deal with their unfair behaviour. Very well done for taking them on, I hope you find an outcome that gives you satisfaction. In the meantime, lots of rest and relaxation when you can. Sending you a cyber hug. CJ xx
ReplyDeleteGood for you! Prayers that you will be surrounded by supportive people who will be strong and carry you through during the times you're wiped out; that you will come through with some healing. And thank goodness for sweet, snuggly kitties!
ReplyDeletei'm quite brand new to your blog...but i just wanted to pop up and wish you well. the tackling of Giants can be a tremendous task...but your well-being is worth battling for, i think. xo
ReplyDeleteJust like me cats and crochet . What more could you ask for ......xx
ReplyDeleteOh I wish you the very best of luck. I took on a former big time employer when I was bullied by a supervisor. It was scary and difficult but it ultimately came to a resolution. Stay strong.
ReplyDeleteit sounds as though you have an uphill struggle but I am sure with the family supporting you you will get there, plenty of rest though as you must not make yourself ill, take care may I add you to my prayer list?
ReplyDeleteTry not to let your fight with the giants tax you too much. Best of luck with your battle, I will send good vibes across the seas to you. Take care. xx
ReplyDeleteBe strong and let it go.
ReplyDeleteOh, Amanda. So sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. I hope the battle will be won sooner rather than later! x
ReplyDeleteGo for it, once you start you will begin to feel better. I enjoy your blog, thanks for posting.
ReplyDeleteGood luck dear Amanda, it is best to deal with feelings that are eating away at your happiness and self worth, slay those Giants!
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile enjoy your crochet, it is lovely and I love the photos of Minnie, a few cuddles from her will also help.
Warm wishes, Dianne
xoxoxo ♡
Thinking of you and wishing you all of the strength and fortitude you need to defeat the "giant."
ReplyDeleteGood luck on what sounds like a tough journey x
ReplyDeleteVery brave of you, good luck, will follow your progress. Keep your chin up.
ReplyDeleteBarbara
Oh Amanda, I'm so sorry that you've been through this. It's a tough when to figure out whether to fight the giant, or to walk away from the giant. I know this having been there myself, and watched others each deal with the giant in their own particular way.
ReplyDeleteSome lived to tell the tale, others fought the fight long after they should have walked away. Me, with the help of a very experienced counsellor I recognised that my 'need' to fight the giant was born in a difficult childhood with far too much responsibility for a struggling parent, and I learnt that what I most needed was to heal myself. It was a tough path, but one I wouldn't have missed out on given where I started and where I ended up. Not where I expected but a much better place (emotionally).
I wish you luck, courage and good support if you decide that it's best to fight the giant.
Kind regards, Deborah xxxx
Thank you all for your comments and for caring :) xxx
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