This ones a bit deep....so if you're not up for it, move away from the blog!
At the moment I feel I'm surrounded by sadness. Mainly I have to say, other people's sadness but like ripples on a pond, I'm feeling those waves too. At the moment I have a very sad, anxious child. As any mother knows when your child is sad, you feel it too right through the heart.
The opposite to sad is happy.....so how do you define Happy?
Is it in what you have, what you have acquired? Big house, holidays to distant shores? Who you have in your life, who you love, and who you look after? In your job/role on this planet? What is it that makes you Happy?
I'm sat here with my freshly brewed coffee, I've just had a little chat with a good friend, I'm writing this post.....and I'm Happy.
Most of you who visit me here, know I can get ridiculously happy at the strangest of things, vintage sheets and wallpaper, colourful yarn, a newly decorated kitchen! Yes I can get all giddy, my heart skips a beat, I really do celebrate those simple things. (Actually decorating the kitchen wasn't a simple task, was it Mr Bea!)
Don't get me wrong, there's some things I'd love to change if I could, they would certainly make things a whole lot easier, would they make me happy? Yes I'm sure they would, but I'm learning to make the most of what I have now....to be happy with me now, with my circumstances....as they are now.
I sat with my mum last night in her room, she was still awake when I arrived. I gave her the obligatory chocolate, and chatted to her about my day, about the birthday celebrations going on. She lay there staring at me, and I'm sure there's was a flicker of love in her eyes. (I may imagine this but it makes me happy!)
As she got sleepy I stroked her forehead until she went to sleep. Well actually I started to hum to her, I'm not a very tuneful person, so I think she falls to sleep quicker, just to escape the noise!
And when I got home, I did the same with my Little Bea, who is anxious and sad, who hates it when I'm not there.....
And I tried to define happy. I tried to explain to her what made me happy. I explained that being happy comes from inside yourself. Being happy with who you are is like having hidden treasure deep inside your soul.
I explained that it's wonderful to have people to love and who love you, but it's only you that can make yourself truly happy. It's great to be surrounded by things you love, but they can only make you happy a little bit. I explained to her that people might not always be with you, and 'things' can get lost, but being happy within yourself.......well that won't ever leave you, won't ever get lost.
Now these are deep things to explain to an almost 10 year old, especially late at night. She did however giggle, when I said to her be happy with yourself Little Bea as you'll always be there, whenever you walk into a room you'll always be there, whenever you have to do something very scary, you'll always be there......and when you experience the happiest moment in your life, you'll be there too!!!
I'm happy with myself, I'm happy in my own skin. That's treasure indeed, I'm very rich. Oh and of course I have this......
My Happy Blanket, it has magical powers you know!
This week we celebrate Eldest Beas 13th birthday, now she's one of the bravest people I know. Despite all the challenges she faces, she walks out of our front door each day and faces them! I'm not sure I'd have done the same at 13! Happy Birthday Lovely Girl xxx
Thank you all for your kind comments on my last post.....I will be back again on Thursday, yes I have a date planned! Very unlike me I know, although I have absolutely no idea what I shall write until I sit down with my iPad......until Thursday!
Bye for now,
Ada :) xxx