Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Define Happy......

 

 
 
Hello There,
 
This ones a bit deep....so if you're not up for it, move away from the blog!
 
At the moment I feel I'm surrounded by sadness. Mainly I have to say, other people's sadness but like ripples on a pond, I'm feeling those waves too. At the moment I have a very sad, anxious child. As any mother knows when your child is sad, you feel it too right through the heart.
 
The opposite to sad is happy.....so how do you define Happy?

 

 

 
 
Is it in what you have, what you have acquired? Big house, holidays to distant shores? Who you have in your life, who you love, and who you look after? In your job/role on this planet? What is it that makes you Happy?
 
I'm sat here with my freshly brewed coffee, I've just had a little chat with a good friend, I'm writing this post.....and I'm Happy.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Most of you who visit me here, know I can get ridiculously happy at the strangest of things, vintage sheets and wallpaper, colourful yarn, a newly decorated kitchen! Yes I can get all giddy, my heart skips a beat, I really do celebrate those simple things. (Actually decorating the kitchen wasn't a simple task, was it Mr Bea!)
 
 
Don't get me wrong, there's some things I'd love to change if I could, they would certainly make things a whole lot easier, would they make me happy? Yes I'm sure they would, but I'm learning to make the most of what I have now....to be happy with me now, with my circumstances....as they are now.
 
 
I sat with my mum last night in her room, she was still awake when I arrived. I gave her the obligatory chocolate, and chatted to her about my day, about the birthday celebrations going on. She lay there staring at me, and I'm sure there's was a flicker of love in her eyes. (I may imagine this but it makes me happy!)
As she got sleepy I stroked her forehead until she went to sleep. Well actually I started to hum to her, I'm not a very tuneful person, so I think she falls to sleep quicker, just to escape the noise!
 
 
And when I got home, I did the same with my Little Bea, who is anxious and sad, who hates it when I'm not there.....
 
 
 
 
 
 
And I tried to define happy. I tried to explain to her what made me happy. I explained that being happy comes from inside yourself. Being happy with who you are is like having hidden treasure deep inside your soul.
 
I explained that it's wonderful to have people to love and who love you, but it's only you that can make yourself truly happy. It's great to be surrounded by things you love, but they can only make you happy a little bit. I explained to her that people might not always be with you, and 'things' can get lost, but being happy within yourself.......well that won't ever leave you, won't ever get lost.
 
Now these are deep things to explain to an almost 10 year old, especially late at night. She did however giggle, when I said to her be happy with yourself Little Bea as you'll always be there, whenever you walk into a room you'll always be there, whenever you have to do something very scary, you'll always be there......and when you experience the happiest moment in your life, you'll be there too!!!
 
I'm happy with myself, I'm happy in my own skin. That's treasure indeed, I'm very rich. Oh and of course I have this......
 
 
 
 
My Happy Blanket, it has magical powers you know!
 
 
This week we celebrate Eldest Beas 13th birthday, now she's one of the bravest people I know. Despite all the challenges she faces, she walks out of our front door each day and faces them! I'm not sure I'd have done the same at 13! Happy Birthday Lovely Girl xxx
 
 
Thank you all for your kind comments on my last post.....I will be back again on Thursday, yes I have a date planned! Very unlike me I know, although I have absolutely no idea what I shall write until I sit down with my iPad......until Thursday!
 
 
Bye for now,
 
Ada :) xxx
 

 

 
 

 

 

44 comments:

  1. Ah, lovely Ada, Happy Ada, this post is a joy and makes me happy! So many of your thoughts ring true with me, how lucky we are to be able to find happiness in even the simplest things...but though you say your girls find happiness inside themselves, you must know that you are such a role model to them, your ability to rise above the negative stuff of life and be happy in spite of it all, that nourishes them and provides them happiness that will last their whole lives through! You teach them how to be happy, whether it is with a simple song or your sense of humour or your beautiful blanket! You are a true inspiration, I wish I could make the whole world read this post! :-) From Happy Chrissie xxx

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    1. Thank you Chrissie, I hope I'm a good role model for them :) x

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  2. beautiful beautiful beautiful! Be happy with you as you will always be there! i am going too tell my children your words! tonight i will snuggle with them and tell them! Love you Ada....enjoy birthday week and give those kids a squish from me xxxxxx

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  3. ~ I'm always here commenting more on your posts that' touch' me, like this one...Ooh Ada, the way you described your visit with your Mama...Goodness I remember them too like this....And your little Bea, who is at that age I remember of being the hardest...with out all the concerns and worry added already...I smiled at the way we all find the' wonderful' in our days, by the simple pleasures that being on here bring...You always, always do find that simple pleasure, that we all, I think can relate too,,
    Wishing your rest of week to be a little lighter, with a few more things to make your heart smile :)
    Hugs from my corner to yours Maria x

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    1. I just go and rabbit on to her, I'd love it if she just turned around and told me to shut up!!! :) x

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  4. Hope your little Bea overcomes what is making her sad very soon. It is so true that your child's sadness tears at your heart. I try to aim for something positive in every day too. Thanks for sharing your thoughts in this post.

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    1. They know how to pull on those heart strings too! My mantra has been, stay strong! :) x

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  5. Dear Ada,

    What a lovely post!
    I goes straight to my heart.

    Ten days ago we my dad passed away.
    He was 81 years old and had a good life.
    The way you describe the visit to your mum,
    reminds me of the visits to my daddy.
    He liked me to sing and hum for him,
    even if he couldn't speak any longer.

    Cherish all your loved ones as much as you can, while you can!

    Brigitte
    http://homeiswherethedachshundis.blogspot.be/

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  6. Such true words Ada, not always easy to do, but happiness can only ever be achieved if you are happy inside and like yourself.
    Enjoy your week. xx

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    1. No Sara, it's not always easy.....mores the pity! :) x

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  7. Very true words, I've just blogged about something similar - finding the happy. Finding the happy at such a young age for your daughter is a tricky one - it tends to come with age. Much love from me to her - she is lucky to find happiness in her Mummy's arms x

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    1. Absolutely Rachel, I'm taking the drip, drip approach! Hopefully one day it will sink in :) x

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    2. I get a happy quote sent to my inbox daily from this website:
      http://gretchenrubin.com/

      It may be of use x

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  8. Happy birthday to your eldest girl and I hope your youngest finds her peace soon. It's a difficult age, but your words so sound so wise and comforting. I am convinced that for some of us, contentment comes from creativity. It's a rock in stormy seas. Wishing you all the best. x

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    1. It's a difficult age, think them there hormones are kicking in, she's a creative soul so who knows! Thank you for the birthday wishes :) x

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  9. splendid words Ada. I think to be happy you have to be content of yourself as a person and when you feel good about this you can share/teach how to be happy to the one you love. You are doing exactly this, so you are doing good, my dear!
    xxxxxx Ale

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    1. Thanks Ale, it's a difficult one to teach isn't it :) x

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  10. A beautiful and wise post. I hope that Little Bea finds light and happiness soon. It's so hard not to be affected too when others are sad, but you are right, deep happiness comes and shines from within.

    xxx

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    1. Light and happiness.....yes please! :) x

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  11. Dearest Ada
    You have written such a truthful and honest post right from the heart which resonates with most of us. If Alice is sad, so am I , it's so hard to stand by and see them going through those preteen and then teen years, sometimes I dread coming home to hear that Alice has had a bad day, I get too involved sometimes but I can't help it she's my girly and I hope and pray I use my life experience to make her feel better and more comforted with the ups and downs of life. Sending big love and hugs to little Bea and knowing she has you as her mum she is in incredibly wise and beautiful hands. I am so happy that you can find those flickers of love and recognition in your mums eyes I believe they are there too.
    As for what makes me happy, material things like books, fabric, yarn, paints etc make me happy in a temporary way, of course the people I love and care for bring so much joy into my life, but my true happiness comes from having a relationship with God, knowing that He is ever loving and unchanging in this love for all of us. It's good to be able to talk to Him about all my troubles and sadnesses too, and of course thank him for all the blessings and small miracles in my life xxx thinking of you all and sending love and big hugs sweet lovely Ada xxxx

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  12. Very sweet. I think Happy is different at various stages of your life. As we mature it seems to take less to make us Happy! That is a good thing. Be Happy!

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  13. oh yes I can feel your blanket happy vibes radiating towards me!! such gorgeous colours you have chosen. So nice to be there for everyone. You are very needed! Take care Heather X

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  14. It is hard this, the hardest person to make happy is yourself, but in so many ways the most rewarding too. I am so sorry that you are surrounded by so much sadness, I can only hope for you that some brightness will come your way very soon. Remember, as well as making you happy, take care of yourself as well Ada. xx

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  15. I agree with Chrissie, I wish the whole world could read this post, Don't forget Ada that you too are a very, very special person. You certainly make us happy with your cheerful crochet in this gloomy weather!

    Anna X

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  16. This is hard to say, I have a sad girl too (16 1/2) who is reaching the end of her counselling and I am a little fearful of how she will cope. It doesn't help that she has a sad mama, who is trying to help herself without medication and without impacting on family life. There is also a (citalopram) healed big brother (suicidal ideation) who is now a much happier young man with a job as a keyworker for adults with mental health problems. (Let's not mention the unhappy marriage of her parents).
    Life can be bloomin' tough and being a teenager in this era is tougher than ever before. I think you are a good, wise mother and I wish I could borrow you for a while.
    Live these days one at a time, good or bad, as they shape us to become well-rounded individuals.
    Love to you and your family,
    Susan xx

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  17. Hi Ada,
    It's certainly true that when your child is sad, you really feel that sadness too. They go through so many things don't they? Often, it can be things I try to tell the Munchkin don't matter that much, but of course, when you are that age, they matter a lot. Your words about making yourself happy ring true but I think it takes a long while to learn that. And of course, no one can be happy all the time, sometimes it's ok to be sad too, knowing happiness is just around the corner. Happy Birthday to your eldest girl. Enjoyed your post very much, thank you.
    Hen xxx

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  18. Such a beautiful, honest and true post Ada. It hurts so very much when the little people are sad. I do hope she is happier soon. For me, I think happiness is contentment, seeing beauty in everyday things and feeling joy. And contentment is being happy with what you have in life. Am I making sense? I don't think that happiness needs to be a huge zinging crazy shrieking thing. It's quiet everyday contentment. And I'm hoping that there is lots of it for you and yours. CJ xx

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  19. Beautiful and wise words Ada. To be happy with who you are and what you have is a wonderful thing. Like you, I find happiness in the simple things. My Mum kept a gratitude journal, and every day, even on the dark days when she was in a lot of pain, she would write down the things she was thankful for - a bird song, the dancing light on the window, a cup of tea in some pretty china. That's really stuck with me, and although I don't write it down, I do recite the things I'm thankful for each day as I lie in bed. Truly living in the present is a marvellous thing - I keep trying - one day at a time! Z xxx

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  20. A very lovely and heartfelt post. I think happiness comes from love and kindness. A smile, a family, a flower, a feeling from God. My husband got me a back scratcher for Christmas, I LOVE IT! He goes into the Navy soon and I wont have anyone to scratch my back. Is it the back scratcher I love or the man who thought about something that I only I would love and understand? I think you did a great job of explaining it. Explaining things to children, especially the important things, never really come easily. xxx

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  21. It's true, you're only as happy as your least happy child. I've been there many, many times over the years. All I can say is that things change quickly when they're young and they move on and forget things sooner than you think. Just try to hang on to be there when she wants to talk. xx

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  22. Bless ya heart! Sounds like life is pulling you and your loved ones through the mill at the moment. How hard it is to explain things to little people. Sounds tho' as if you did a great job of it. Hope happy finds you all and gives you big hugs. X

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  23. Happiness comes from within - I couldn't agree more. Lovely post and sending you much love! :)

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  24. What a lovely, sincere and touching post. Thank you for it. You are clearly your family's rock right now and central to them all. Your Mum and daughters are so lucky to have your calming wisdom and thank you for sharing it too as its a reminder I need today too.

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  25. So touching and straight from the heart, Ada. x

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  26. Your post made me have a little tear in my eye, but I am happy I read it
    Julie xxxxxxxx

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  27. your post is so full of thoughts for me. Sadness when Irtead about your Mum and you daughters sadness but you inspire with your words and I am sure little bea will be feeling your happiness very soon. I think I feel more content than happy but I am happy with that!

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  28. Such wise words to your daughter. It's so hard being a Mum some days. Hugs, Trudy

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  29. Sometimes I felt (and still feel) like a sponge and soak up all the hurt that my kids would feel. It's a good feeling though when your child wants to give you a hug "just because" and you know it was for not just one moment, but for years of loving and guiding them along. Happy Birthday to your new brave teenager! And all the best to your 10-year old daughter as well. Enjoy the rest of your week Ada :) Wendy x

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  30. Hi Ada. I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately. I was so touched by your post. It is possible to find happiness in the simplest of situations. I really hope that Little Bea comes through this sad time soon...You're doing great. Big love xxxx

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  31. Ada, you're a bloody inspiration. My kids are too young yet to be asking and feeling such deep things but I know it will come, And I know that happiness has to be worked at.

    I do hope Little Bea is ok and that things smooth themselves out for her, and I'm thinking of you both. Much love. xxx

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    http://www.titacarre.com
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  33. Hello lovely Ada. Such a heartfelt and honest post, the one of many things that we all love about you. You have such courage to stay positive and you are such a good caree and mother. What wise words you offered little bea and how very lucky she is to have a mummy like you. I think you've struck a chord with so many of us and as I've said before yah ow wonderful to be so very happy in your own skin, your a tyre inspiration to so many of us. Sending much love and wishes for many more happy days ahead!! Xxx

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